A little of my story. . .

I've fought with my weight for the last 15 years.

It wasn't until I became pregnant with my daughter, that my battle with my weight, really began.

I gained 50 lbs in my pregnancy but lost 30 of that pretty quickly.

I never lost that additional 20 lbs, infact, I gained 50 more on top of over the years.

I've done weight watchers, the Atkins diet, diet pills, and I almost had weight loss surgery all in a desperate effort to lose weight.

The most I would ever lose was about 10-15 lbs and then I would quit.

Only to gain that back, and then some.

Finally, in 2009 made an appointment with a nutritionist.  

I needed some direction. 



My starting weight was 267 lbs.

I wanted to die.

It was my highest weight ever.

I was miserable and unhappy.

But, I knew this was the fresh start I needed.

Since then, I'm down 50 lbs. 


Over the course of these 5 years, I've managed to keep the majority of my weight off.

The problem is that I still need to lose 50 MORE lbs. I try to remember that I just need to lose 5lbs 10 more times! ;)





I know, I have a long ways to go but I am starting to like myself, again. Which is awesome feeling!  It's an amazing feeling to start liking what you see in yourself.



I came across these pictures recently and seeing pics of me from this time in my life are very bittersweet. Because I still remember very vividly how the girl in these pictures felt. I felt hopeless, alone, sad, just completely miserable. I felt stuck in every aspect of my life. I even remember going on a field trip with maddie and one of the kids telling her, that her mom was fat. I tried to brush it off but it hurt. It really, really hurt. I had really given up on myself. I often went without makeup and I often wore black. Because I didn't want to stand out. I didn't want anyone to notice me. Thankfully one day, I had the courage to take my life back. I worked towards losing the weight, I embraced being a girl again and started taking care of myself. I also started to break out of my shell.


I still have my bad days, but instead of just completely giving up like I did in the past, I just continue to move forward.
I plan to use this blog to document my progress and I would love for you to  follow along with me!

I did want to share a few of my "before" pics, to remind me of where I was








Can you say "cheese"!?



























Stuffing my face. YUCK! (I can't believe I am putting this on here.)

If that's not inspiration, I don't know what is!?! : )















                                                                                                                                       

 Before and during. 50 lbs down, 50 more to go!

                                                   So, here's to "resurfacing me"!

The 1st step

So, I am starting a new blog.

I plan to use it, to hold myself accountable to...well, myself, more or less.

I'm on a path to resurface me.

I want to. . .

continue to grow in my current journey by doing what I'd never thought I could or would.

learn to forgive and forget.

continue to grow in my faith in God, others and myself.

just be a better version of me.

I am wanting to chronicle my life, the good bad and the ugly (well, maybe not too much of the ugly).

 

so, if you are looking to make some positive changes in your life, please follow along with me.

 

WE can do this together!

A journey begins with the 1st step.

So, here we go!